To make a long story short, a friend works in print ad photography and is always trying to get rid of the foodstuffs that are to be thrown out after the shoot. Today's booty is Haagen Das Dulce de Leche ice cream, a three-gallon tub of it. Have you had this stuff? It's like frozen crack. It has to have at least six hundred pounds of sugar per square inch. I enlisted the help of two coworkers and took as much as I could from Foamy, recipient of the tub, but the problem is that this stuff is so rich it can only be eaten five or six spoonfuls at a time. I'm not exaggerating, it's too rich to binge on. "The sugar is making my throat hurt!" exclaimed Singular after a marathon eight-spoonful session.

Lesson learned: Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.